What I Do Anywhere

What I Do Anywhere

– Maida Korte

“Because you believed I was capable of behaving decently, I did.” – Paulo Coelho

Of course I’ll get you a water bottle – and I trotted to the refrigerator to get her one.  She was young and looked exhausted, walking house to house in 90 plus degree heat to put flyers on doors.  The flyers were cheaply printed and advertised new siding – sad thing though – our entire neighborhood is newish houses with newish siding.  I did think about pointing this out to her – but she asked for a water bottle and I said yes and my moment of teaching was gone.  We had both been startled by each other since I walked out the front door just as she approached.  But rather than saying something nice immediately like a simple hello, I blurted out a what are you doing here line. She did not hand me a flyer but instead asked for a water bottle.  And so my check kicked in, I reassembled my sensibilities, gave her a water bottle feeling contrite, and listened while she told me about walking around in “this damn heat” and not a word about siding. 

          Behavior can be tricky.  I know that what I do anywhere is what I do everywhere and who said that?  Whoever coined that phrase actually did us no favors.  I mean, think about it – is there no place where I can get away from my bad behavior?

          Don’t we all inherently know that this adage is meant to point us in the direction of good by reminding us that we are facing the opposite direction much of the time?  It would be fantastic if it was about good behavior though.  I do one good think and can nestle into the truism that whatever I do anywhere is what I do everywhere!  Well, that’s settled then.  Well – no.  Actually this is about our annoying habits, our irritating ways, the rolled eyes of boredom, the semi-hidden derision or the bitterness of soul that suddenly slips out onto my face, the word not aptly spoken and desperate to be clutched back with grappling hands rather than spilled out onto the carpet like stains that won’t quite go away.

          I want my this and my now to be an ever and always that leaves a trail of characteristics that don’t require do overs.  Taking back behavior or words is like trying to get a sleeping bag back neatly back into its teensy weensy cover.  It can be done but it is awkward and cumbersome and involves kneeling and crunching and stuffing and rolling and folding and pressure and twisted facial expressions with the occasional punch down.  Apologies are like that.  They never quite take the crumples away, but they do help smooth out the wrinkles of the soul.